What person do you hate the most?It’s not a complicated question. There is someone (regrettably, for most of us it’s “someones”) that we detest. Hate even. So who is that?Hatred or strong dislike or detesting is a damaging emotion. Not for the one who’s the object of your hatred. Hatred is a corrosive mental poison that damages you. Allowing it room in your mind does immense damage. (And nine times out of ten, you don’t know that person and he doesn’t know you. If the one you hate is some public official, you’re not really hating him: you’re hating a mental image of that person, a sort of cartoon character persona that your mind has put together from stuff you’ve read or videos you’ve seen).But let’s imagine that the object of your hatred is someone you really know. Probably the biggest thing you need to remember is that you are related to that person. Not in some kind of “we’re all one big human family” scenario (which is correct) but in an honest to God, real, live relationship. They’re your cousin. I don’t mean in the way we normally think about cousins (my parent’s sibling’s children) but in a more removed but still very real way: think something like 7th cousin, twice removed. Maybe your great-great grandparents cousin’s great grandchildren. Or something like that. Which is sobering. Walk down a random street in Cairo or Moscow or Chicago, and every person you pass is related to you. How do I know this? Because we are all descendants of two individuals. Every one of the eight billion on the planet today and those who’ve gone before us and those who will come after. (The technical term for this is creationism. We’re all either creationists or we’re racists, but I’ll save that discussion for another day).So tamp down whatever hatred you have. Do it for the one you hate. Do it for yourself. And do it for the world. The world needs less hatred. And the world especially needs more love. If the person you hate is someone you know, reach out. Ask if you can meet for coffee. Get past the awkwardness and do something concrete. I’m not a romantic or gushy person. But I know what hatred does. Don’t let it do that to you.